The Princess and The Pea

We all know the story of the princess and the pea. If for some reason your mother did not love you enough to share this story with you, here is a brief synopsis.

There was a prince and he wanted to marry a princess (the usual). Well, the prince searched far and wide but could not find the right princess (high standards). He came home from his search quite downtrodden. Later, on a stormy evening, a knock came from the door. The prince opened the door (of course, the butler had to be off).  There stood a girl, drenched with rain, who claimed to be a princess. Well, as these things usually happen, the prince was smitten. His mother, on the other hand, was not. The queen decided to test the "princess". The queen went and heaped a lot of mattresses (the exact amount is to be debated) on top of a pea. The queen knew only a true princess would be able to feel a pea under all those layers. The next morning the queen asked the princess how she slept. The princess said it was awful. The bed was so lumpy she was bruised (princesses are delicate you know). That was proof enough for the queen. Soon after, the prince and the princess were married and they lived happily ever after (this is also to be debated). The End.

My friends, I have a confession. I'm the princess. Yes, 'tis true. I mean, Sarah does mean princess in Hebrew so it's no wonder that I have princess tendencies.  Especially when it comes to my sleeping environment. They are as follows:

1.) Bed. It really has to be my bed. If not, I cannot, will not sleep well.
2.) Human contact. When Scott and I were first married I could not go to sleep with any body part of his touching me. I have actually gotten over this. But it is limited. A hand or a foot, but that's about it. 
3.) Darkness. I have to have complete darkness.
4.) Noise. I cannot have noise except from my fan. See number 6.
5.) Sheets. They have to be straight for me to get in the bed. I don't like twisted sheets.
6.) Fan. I have to have the noise of a fan. This is where it gets complicated folks. It can't be just any fan. My fans are held to high standards. It cannot click or make any repetitive noises. It has to be on low.  It cannot point at me ( I don't like wind in my face.) It has to be facing a certain direction. I can tell if it's not in the correct direction by the sound it's making.
7.) Pillow. It HAS to be my pillow. I also can only sleep on a certain corner of my pillow. Scott has tried to see if I really HAD to have my pillow and switched it out with his. I knew instantly. Don't mess with my pillow!

If any of these things have not come to pass the night before, the princess (that's me!), will have dark circles under her eyes and be very grouchy the next day. Some might say I'm neurotic. Well, probably most of you do. I'm sure any guy that's reading this is thanking sweet baby Jesus that they didn't hitch their wagon to mine. It takes a special guy to deal with a Hunter gal. (That's another blog in itself.) Thankfully, I found that special guy who can deal with my "princess-ness" aka my neurosis. So, what are you supposed to take away from this entry? Deep sympathy for Scott, I would think.

Welcome to the King Spa...

It's beauty night at the King house. Actually, Scott and I just wanted to see how nasty our pores were.