why not?

It all started with a New Year's resolution. More like a phrase, really. I wanted to take risks this year and step out of my well worn comfort zone. So I decided to ask myself a question each time an opportunity arose, and the question was "why not?" The purpose of that question was for me to examine why I was saying no and hopefully encourage me to say yes.

I put this to the test a couple of times in early January, I went riding on a scooter in the Bahamas, slid down a huge water slide (that may not sound like a risk to you but it's not my thing, people!) both of which I would normally say no to. In mid January, I decided to stop making excuses and start dancing again, because why not?  If you know me or my family, you'll know my sisters and I grew up dancing. After high school I went on to major in dance in college. I continued to dance after college but not nearly as often. After a couple of years my "real" job started interfering with rehearsals. I decided that it was time to give dancing up. So I stopped. That was in in May 2012.

Hear no evil, Speak no evil, See no evil -1997

 Soon after college I started dealing with anxiety and even had a couple of panic attacks. It got even worse during the summer of 2012. Late last year, I started to see a counselor and began working on strategies to cope with my anxiety. Through that I realized that the start of my anxiety coincided with not dancing often, and then getting even worse when I stopped dancing entirely. Now, I don't believe that not dancing was the reason for my anxiety. I had a lot of life changes going on (getting married, graduating college, husband in medical school, new (stressful) jobs) but I do believe that I used dance to cope and relieve stress most of my life. Once I took dance out of the equation I lost my best coping mechanism.

Diamond Fairy in Sleeping Beauty - 2003

Thankfully, I have learned to cope with anxiety and stress without dancing (let's face it, my body is slowly deteriorating and it's not going to be able to dance forever!). In January, I decided I wanted to revisit one of my first loves - dance. I had taken a class before with a student organization on Virginia Tech's campus and decided I would try that again. I ended up finding a student organization specifically focused on ballet and my sisters danced with a couple of the dancers in the organization in high school. I contacted one of them and she gave me their class information. She also asked me to audition to be a part of their show in March. My first instinct was to say absolutely not! I knew I was out of shape and older than all of them. Yet, I asked myself the question, why not? I couldn't think of any real reason not to. What was holding me back was fear. I decided to audition and audition I did. They accepted me and thus my dancing career started again.

College - 2010

There have been days when my feet hurt, days when I was tired and felt too old, and days where I didn't feel like dancing. BUT through all that, I still felt joyful, exhilarated, and alive each time I danced! What is the saying? Absence makes the hear grow fonder? That's usually used in the context of relationships but it's true with almost anything. I took dancing for granted for so many years. Now, I appreciate and treasure each time I get to dance because I know what it's like without it and I know there will be a day when I truly won't be able to dance anymore.

To Build a Home - 2014 (photo credit: Kevin Dickel, photo courtesy of Ballet Project at Virginia Tech)

So ask yourself when an opportunity arises, why not? Who knows where it will take you.